{Fall}

"Fall"

September has long been one of my favorite months of the year. Of course, I've always associated this time of year with the start of school--first, as a student, second as a teacher, and now, as a mother. And, since I live in a climate where the seasons change dramatically, I wait with great anticipation for this particular weather change...when I can put on a sweatshirt and jeans and be 100% comfortable. It isn't just the temperature, though. The sunshine has a special autumn quality.

Over the weekend, I stayed at a friend's cabin in central Minnesota (Thank You , Sandy!) The first signs of autumn were peaking through everywhere and Sunday was ...

an

absolutely

PERFECT

fall

day!

Retreat!

I'm headed out of town for the weekend and I'll be scrapbooking nearly every waking moment. (Yay!!!!) My girlfriends will probably try to distract me as they get all spiritual and go have quiet times or take hikes in the fall woods. Not me, Ladies. It's going to be all about the papers and gadgets and embellishments (and a good healthy dose of Diet Dr. Pepper!)

When I get back, I'll post my next cards: key & flight

Day 19--{music}

"Music"

I've grown up just on the edge of a life of music. What do I mean? My mom was a bar singer from the time I was very young. She came by it naturally since my grandfather was a singer and musician, as well. My own first performance was "Delta Dawn." I think I was five. As the years wore on, I became more self-conscious about singing on stage and not especially more talented. Fast forward to New Years's Eve 1997. I meet a sweet, sexy man...and someone tells me he's in a band. I married that man and, today, he doesn't head up a rock and roll band anymore, but he sings sweet songs of worship to the Lord.

These people and memories and music are my treasures,
our worship is treasure to Jesus...

Days 16-18--{helpless, refresh, spirit}

"Helpless"

It took me so long to sit with this little group of cards because the first one I was supposed to tackle was "helpless." It isn't that I couldn't think of anything...it was that it seemed like that about covered EVERYTHING! Last week was one of the most helpless weeks I've had in a long time.

So, here's my card. This is "me", stuck in the gears of my life, feeling helpless. It feels like circumstances are just grinding me up. The background paper (CM) is a graphic version of tire treads because, this sense of helplessness leaves me feeling like I've been run over.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Refresh"

I'll send you a post-card if I ever get there.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Spirit"

Now, you would think I would come up with something entirely spiritual here. Nope. These are reflections on the emotional side of my spirit (or my recollections thereof...)

You see, I used to wear animal prints. There were a snakeskin-print pair of jeans. A cheetah print blouse. Oh, and my favorite...also cheetah...a neck scarf. At the time I remember feeling like they pretty accurately represented my wild heart. Today I'm thinking, "Where on earth did that go?" I've become so tame. I don't do anything crazy or romantic anymore. I don't even think those things anymore.

For a brief moment last weekend, I remembered how it used to be. But the context for the remembering basically nullifies it all! You see, I was so overwhelmed, irritable, emotional that I ran out on my family. Frantically left the house with nothing but, "I'm not doing o.k., I have to go. I'll be back late." I didn't really have a plan and I ended up at the cheap theater. The only movie starting within the hour was "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End." Well, Disney sure did it up "dark," but I still managed to be completely in love with the protagonists. It made me want to be a pirate (with better bathing facilities, though.) It made me want to win the heart of Jack Sparrow (or Will Turner...he'd be good, too! Heck, Elizabeth Swan was even fantastic.) I lived the adventure vicariously for a couple of hours and it reminded me of how my spirit used to soar now and then.

Now, my spirit drives a mini-van, sleeps in old t-shirts, and doesn't wear make-up. Sigh.

Long Time, No Blog

I have a backlog of cards to create and I am still excited to do so...
However, life takes twists and turns.


I've been struggling with compulsions in the last several months. It seems to be a part of my depression and anxiety package. There might just be a little "manic" in there. Coming up on two weeks ago, I realized I was doing some things to the detriment of my overall health...one of them was spending inordinate amounts of time on my computer--blogging, reading bulletin boards, surfing the net. Others...scrapbooking, eating, spending money...

So, if there's nothing new to read here, it's probably a good thing for now.

Day 15-Jack of Diamonds {Quote}

"Quote"

The other day my son said...and I quote...

"I wish I had a different mommy that didn't yell so much."

(I answered, "Yeah, I wish you had that mommy, too.")

A while back, I mentioned that I wanted to be off my meds. Well, I ditched them and now, three weeks later...I'm a raving lunatic. O.K. it's mostly during what I call "the evil hours"--4-6 pm. Yesterday, I called my hubby at work and said, "Please come home early...and plan on taking the kids out to dinner...without me." How do you explain to your children that you love them in spite of your mental health failings? I mean, "seratonin" is completely without significance to my 6 year-old. Stark-raving mad will probably be very meaningful to them, though.

It's hard to see, but that is the CTMH Fairy Wishes fairy under the vellum.

Day 14- {Awe}

"Awe"

It's the holiday weekend and we are actually at home. Mark had the idea to take the family to the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden. How can I explain that I thought both that it was a good idea and that kids might hate it? What a pleasant surprise in store for me! They loved it. The weather was gorgeous and the spaces wide open. They ran and circled and climbed and looked...really looked. Wow! My kids like art! Here they are, checking out "Prophecy of the Ancients" by Brower Hatcher, 1988. This is the new picture in my mind's dictionary next to "awe."