"Fragile" has been my state over the past few weeks. It weirds me out a little because I like to be tough. I'm not usually a little bird with a curly tail...I'm more like a big black crow or a mouthy macaw on most days. Depression is a strange thing. There are now these two "mes." Me #1 (with depression and no medication) and Me #2 (with depression plus medication.) And you would think that Me #1 would be the "Real Me." But it isn't who I am in my heart and in my own mind...I'm not full of rage, I'm not weepy, I'm not unmotivated, I'm not antisocial. So it turns out that the "Real Me" is #2. I'm finding it hard to swallow, but Doc said to me this week, "I think that medication for you needs to be permanent." Permanent.
You can't read it in the picture, but the green strip of paper says things like this:
I am happy in this world
I am strong when life is hard
I am beautiful just the way I am
I am loving to my friends
I am valuable in this world
I am fun everyday
I am loving to my friends and family
This is the definition of "success" that I pray my three children will develop for themselves. I want them to read this list and go, "Yep, check! ...Yep, check! Check! Check! Check!"
(Maybe it they do, I will, too!)
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1 comment:
Kris,
Thanks for being so open and sharing a little about you battle with depression and the medication. I too have to take meds for this as well and can be hard to come to terms with. I followed the link from Lianne's online group. I'm Jennipher from Jacksonville, NC.
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